inspirationally sentimental

23:49, 21 oct 2009....

just saw the senti videos from IITB... People told something about.. actually one thing .. "DIL KAA SAAF".."BAHOOT SIDHA"... and for most of the frnds i haven't commented at all... infact if i have the comment is not serious, its a bastard comedy.... i donno why... but i have just realized i don't know how to express myself. The point which i do have in my mind may be clear... or i think may not be... but i m not able to express the point in proper words.. and this is why people do start to feel me as their "CHOTA BHAI" sort of. You know the one who doesn't have any fundaes abt life... he is just cheerful.. baccha saa.. don't know how to deal with people... actually all this may be correct.. just that i m taking more time to realize it. Always i have thought about the "Word power".. the power to explain your point... the power to Express yourself is the one to control the world... which i do lack.. infact if there exist a word just opposite to the person who owns the word power.. i m that "WORD"... why the Fish i was not selected in any of the interviews... my thoughts are absurd... actually they are jumbled... not organized... to be exact. They just flow... and this is not matter of being poor at language "English"... same is the scenario for hindi language too.. i just can't express myself... i can't speak the words which fits at the situation...

The only thing which stick me to being the same is "LAUGH" which i get by cracking cheap abusing frustrated(mood) jokes... Same direct me to think that i m being liked (but not the way i want)...

What should i do?? i want to improve myself.. obv...

1) improve vocab... may be i can be more expressive with more words

2) Start reading

3) Start writing

first is tough... 2nd and 3rd can be done... 3rd is infact solved as in i can write the blog

but reading...what should i read?... and actually for checking myself what i can do is to communicate with some knowledgeable people on their topic and discuss it throughly

For reading choices are

News P

Novel

Philosophy

etc.

This is to organize my thoughts... It may seem very trivial to me at later stage.. but same is the prob as i stated above with me right now.

Post ends on 21-22 oct 00:13 hrs

just fart

23:31, just 2 minutes..... i was thinking of creating this from atleast 2 months...it took just 2 minutes to create it..thanx to google... and this point raised a "point" rather weakness... to which i have to look after and for the same i m here.. as in by now....

"i think of....."i will start doing it" and picturize myself doing the same but a month after even in my thoughts."...let it be gym or CAT or hitting a girl... and the same i do even later... the one thing i do sooner than i picturize is MB.

23:56 and just 2 lines.... wrote something erased it twice.. i am ashamed of even writing some of the things to myself...

A blog is to write down wat you are thinking.. and right now i m thinking of wat i shud write.."just the question"....

ok lets start a topic... there shud be two counter part of my mind giving argument in favor and against hte topic... and now the topic is....

hmm

mm

mmm

is blogging constructive or destructive...

Pro: it rearranges the thoughts of your mind

con: just forces the thoughts out to write something...waste of time

Pro: you do much of "contructive" work in same time

con: nothing is better than to take a good nap before office hours or otherwise you are not efficient.

Pro: pull out some time from other stuff..like being socialized

con: blogging is just giving out time to yourself...comparing and a effort to learn from self... and self is not a bit less or more to infact give something out of it

Pro: May be giving time to self is in a way learning... you get to analyse yourself by remembering some moments and either record them to repeat or "not to repeat" them in future.

Con: A person think of himself as always right before being pointed by someone else... there comes the importance of friends.. they need to point it out directly or sarcastically

Pro: and just listening to them is not a good way to handle it... and here comes the importance of time to self.

.....will continue......

on 21 oct 23:47 this post is over... up to next